Money

Money is a poor man's credit card. ~~ Marshall McLuhan

We all need money, but there are degrees of desperation. ~~ Anthony Burgess

Whether he admits it or not, a man has been brought up to look at money as a sign of his virility, a symbol of his power, a bigger phallic symbol than a Porsche. ~~ Victoria Billings

No illusion is more crucial than the illusion that great success and huge money buy you immunity from the common ills of mankind, such as cars that won't start. ~~ Larry McMurty

You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help. ~~ Jean Kerr

Adults are just children who earn money. ~~ Kenneth Branaugh

"Resource-constrained environment" [are] fancy Pentagon words that mean there isn't enough money to go around. ~~ General John W. Vessey, Jr.

I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is -- I could be just as proud for half the money. ~~ Arthur Godfrey

When I was young, I used to think that wealth and power would bring me happiness … I was right. ~~ Gahan Wilson

Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort. ~~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

Wealth is not without its advantages and the case to the contrary, although it has often been made, has never proved widely persuasive. ~~ J. K. Galbraith

Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million. ~~ Arnold Schwarzenegger

I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves. ~~ Bruce Grocott

In wealth many friends; in poverty, not even relatives. ~~ Japanese proverb

Travel is educational; it teaches you how to get rid of money in a hurry. ~~ S. Barry Lipkin

[On marriage:] Look for a sweet person. Forget rich. ~~ Estee Lauder

To suppose, as we all suppose, that we could be rich and not behave the way the rich behave, is like supposing that we could drink all day and stay sober. ~~ Logan Pearsall Smith

It is true that wealth won't make a man virtuous, but I notice there ain't anybody who wants to be poor just for the purpose of being good. ~~ Josh Billings

Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have. ~~ Ernest Haskins

Money, we know, will fetch anything and command the service of any man. ~~ George Washington

A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you're talking real money. ~~ Everett Dirksen

There are a lot of things money can't buy -- for example, what it bought last year. ~~ Peter's Almanac

Money can't buy happiness the way poverty delivers misery. ~~ Unattributed

It's a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money. ~~ Albert Camus

Money doesn't care who makes it. ~~ Unattributed

Money is the root of all evil, but the foliage is fascinating. ~~ Val Peters

It would be all right for these wise guys to say money isn't everything if people didn't treat you like less than nothing when you haven't any. ~~ Cincinnati Enquirer

The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm. ~~ Josh Billings

Money is power, freedom, a cushion, the root of al evil, the sum of all blessings. ~~ Carl Sandburg

When money is seen as a solution for every problem, money itself becomes the problem. ~~ Richard Needham

The most popular labor-saving device is still money. ~~ Phyllis George

I'm so happy to be rich, I'm willing to take all the consequences. ~~ Howard Abrahamson

It isn't necessary to be rich and famous to be happy. It's only necessary to be rich. ~~ Alan Alda

Money is good for bribing yourself through the inconveniences of life. ~~ Gottfried Reinhardt

Money is the only substance which can keep a cold world from nicknaming a citizen "Hey, you!" ~~ Wilson Mizner

Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, and over these ideals they dispute, but they all worship money. ~~ Mark Twain

The only reason to have money is to tell any SOB in the world to go to hell. ~~ Humphrey Bogart

Young people, nowadays, imagine that money is everything; and when they grow older, they know it. ~~ Oscar Wilde

If you are rich, you speak the truth; if you are poor, your words are but lies. ~~ Chinese proverb

Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money. ~~ Robin Williams

The best things in life are free; and if you can afford the stuff you get with money, you've got a great combination. ~~ Unattributed

If someone cheats you, get your money back. If someone slanders you, call him to account. If someone makes a promise, see that it is kept … If you have to be a pest, then be one, and be proud of it. ~~ Donald G. Smith

If a fool and his money are soon parted, why are there so many rich fools? ~~ Unattributed

The surest way to get rid of a bore is to lend money to him. ~~ Paul Louis Courier

After a rich man gets rich, his next ambition is to get richer. ~~ Unattributed

Money mad. My wife says I spend money like a drunken sailor. Wonder what she'd say if I spent it like a sober congressman? ~~ R. W. Plagge

Too often foreign aid is when the poor people of a rich nation send their money to the rich people of a poor nation. ~~ Unattributed

We're all generous, but with different things, like time, money, talent -- criticism. ~~ Frank A. Clark

Nothing is easier than the expenditure of public money. It doesn't appear to belong to anyone. The temptation is overwhelming to bestow it on somebody. ~~ Calvin Coolidge

[A man] … can go on without wealth, and even without purpose, for a while. But he will not go on without hope. ~~ C. Neil Strait

Try to save money. Some day it may be valuable again. ~~ Unattributed

The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life. ~~ Theodore Roosevelt

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: Whose? ~~ Don Marquis

Maturity is the ability to do a job whether or not you are supervised, to carry money without spending it and to bear an injustice without wanting to get even. ~~ Ann Landers

Concentration of wealth and power has been built upon other people's money, other people's business, other people's labor. Under this concentration, independent business … has been a menace to … American society. ~~ Franklin Delano Roosevelt

If American men are obsessed with money, American women are obsessed with weight. The men talk of gain, the women talk of loss, and I do not know which talk is the more boring. ~~ Marya Mannes

Don't cling to fame. You're just borrowing it. It's like money. You're going to die, and somebody else is going to get it. ~~ Sonny Bono

Some people think they are worth a lot of money just because they have it. ~~ Fannie Hurst

A simple fact that is hard to learn is that the time to save money is when you have some. ~~ Joe Moore

The darkest hour in any man's life is when he sits down to plan how to get money without earning it. ~~ Horace Greeley

The way money goes so fast these days, they should paint racing stripes on it. ~~ Mark Russell

Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is I don't know which half. ~~ John Wannamaker

The rule is not to talk about money with people who have much more or much less than you. ~~ Katherine Whitehorn

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. ~~ Robert Orben

How much money did you make last year? Mail it in. [suggestion for a simplified tax form] ~~ Stanton Delaplane

Tradition is what you resort to when you don't have the time or the money to do it right. ~~ Kurt Herbert Adler

Riches, like glory or heath, have no more beauty or pleasure than their possessor is pleased to lend them. ~~ Michel de Montaigne

Success produces success, just as money produces money. ~~ Nicolas de Chamfort

You have reached the pinnacle of success as soon as you become uninterested in money, compliments, or publicity. ~~ Thomas Wolfe

Money often costs too much. ~~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Chain letters are not illegal. What is illegal is to threaten lives in such letters or solicit money … ~~ Deane Jordan ["1001 Facts Somebody Screwed Up"]

Money is to be respected; one of the worst things you can do is handle another person's money without respect for how hard it was to earn. ~~ T. Boone Pickens, Jr.

Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you to miserable in comfort. ~~ Lord Mancroft

Money talks. It says, "Goodbye." ~~ Unattributed

I never been in no situation where havin' money make it any worse. ~~ Clinton Jones

Money is a strange thing. It ranks with love as our greatest source of joy, and with death as our greatest source of anxiety. ~~ Joe Moore

No evil is without its compensation. The less money, the less trouble; the less favor, the less envy. Even in those cases which put us out of wits, it is not the loss itself, but the estimate of the loss that troubles us. ~~ Seneca

Do not be fooled into believing that because a man is rich he is necessarily smart. There is ample proof to the contrary. ~~ Julius Rosenwald

Believe not much them that seem to despise riches, for they despise them that despair of them. ~~ Francis Bacon

Look to your health; and if you have it, praise God, and value it next to a good conscience; for health is the second blessing that we mortals are capable of; a blessing that money cannot buy. ~~ Izaak Walton

Words are wise men's counters, they do but reckon with them, but they are the money of fools. ~~ Thomas Hobbes

Money is human happiness in the abstract; he, then, who is no longer capable of enjoying human happiness in the concrete devotes himself utterly to money. ~~ Arthur Schopenhauer

Whenever it is in any way possible, every boy and girl should choose as his life work some occupation which he should like to do anyhow, even if he did not need the money. ~~ William Lyon Phelps

God is on everyone's side … and in the last analysis, he is on the side with plenty of money and large armies. ~~ Jean Anouilh

Money doesn't talk, it swears. ~~ Bob Dylan

It has been said that the love of money is the root of all evil. The want of money is so quite as truly. ~~ Samuel Butler

On packing: Lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then, take half the clothes and twice the money. ~~ Susan Butler Anderson

Learn to be pleased with everything; with wealth, so far as it makes us beneficial to others; with poverty, for not having much to care for, and with obscurity, for being unenvied. ~~ Plutarch

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people He gives it to. ~~ Joe Moore

Three things ruin a man: power, money, and women. I never wanted power. I never had any money, and the only woman in my life is up at the house right now. ~~ Harry S. Truman

The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect. ~~ Sam Ewing

Early to bed and early to rise -- till you get enough money to do otherwise. ~~ Peter's Almanac

A ready way to lose your friend is to lend him money. Another equally ready way to lose him is to refuse to lend him money. It is six of one and a half dozen of the other. ~~ George Jean Nathan

The value of money is that with it we can tell any man to go to the devil. It is the sixth sense which enables you to enjoy the other five. ~~ W. Somerset Maugham

It is good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure you haven't lost the things that money can't buy. ~~ George Horace Lorimer

Be careful to leave your sons well instructed rather than rich, for the hopes of the instructed are better than the wealth of the ignorant. ~~ Epictetus

Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one basket, -- which is but a manner of saying, Scatter your money and your attention, but the wise man saith, Put all your eggs in the one basket and -- watch that basket. ~~ Mark Twain

There is no one quite as angry as someone who has just lost a lot of money. ~~ David Williamson

Money … enables us to get what we want instead of what other people think we want. ~~ George Bernard Shaw

The safest way to double your money is to fold it over twice and put it in your pocket. ~~ Frank McKinney Hubbard

It is easier to talk about money -- and much easier to talk about sex -- than it is to talk about power. People who have it deny it; people who want it do not want to appear to hunger for it; and people who engage in its machinations do so secretly. ~~ Rosabeth Moss Kanter

Litigation: A form of hell whereby money is transferred from the pockets of the proletariat to that of lawyers. ~~ Frank McKinney Hubbard

Wealth may be an excellent thing, for it means power, and it means leisure, it means liberty. ~~ James Russell Lowell

Politics has got so expensive that it takes lots of money to even get beat with. ~~ Will Rogers

I'm tired of Love: I'm still more tired of Rhyme. Buy Money gives me pleasure all the time. ~~ Hilaire Belloc

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. ~~ Anatole France [Jacques Anatole Francois Thibault]

Let us all be happy and live within our means, even if we have to borrow the money to do it with. ~~ Charles Farrar Browne [Artemus Ward]

Business? It's quite simple. It's other people's money. ~~ Alexandre Dumas the Younger

Can anybody remember when the times were not hard and money not scarce? ~~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. ~~ Bill Vaughan

Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. ~~ Unattributed

Money is a terrible master but an excellent servant. ~~ P. T. Barnum

The thing that I should wish to obtain from money would be leisure with security. ~~ Bertrand Russell (see Said Who)

The purpose of a liberal education is to make you philosophical enough to accept the fact that you will never make much money. ~~ Unattributed